Nu s-a stabilit exact momentul declicului, dar la un moment dat, poate într-o miercuri, s-a instaurat brusc frica de texte lungi. Pe anumite site-uri există chiar de la început opțiunea care îți estimează cât o să îți ia să citești un anumit text: 3 minute, 5 minute, 7 minute etc. Cărțile pentru copii au și ele o categorie specială: povești de 3 minute sau de 10 minute. Scriam de un automat de literatură cu trei butoane: un minut, trei minute sau cinci minute, în funcție de cât timp vrei să citești. (Ar fi o chestie să se inventeze etichete din astea și pentru romane: Două luni. O zi. Două săptămâni și 4 zile. Niciodată).
Așa că cine ar avea tupeul în publicitate să scrie texte lungi pe panouri? Un ziar din Elveția. Neue Zürcher Zeitung. Campania creată de Scholz & Friends este ironică, sinceră și are texte lungi. De ce le-ar citi oamenii? Din cel puțin trei motive: curiozitate, plictiseală și pentru că cititul nu are legătură cu lungimea textului.
Și cele trei motive, în întregime:
Curious?
Apparently, for why else would you be reading this otherwise uninteresting-looking poster? We’re especially pleased that your curiosity appears to be of the more in-depth sort and not one that needs some sensationalistic headline to awaken. They say particularly shocking topics, particularly famous people and particularly adorable babies work best. We don’t have anything against any of those per se; we just don’t like begging for attention. That’s probably why our poster is so unexciting. Which is ironic, since what we’re offering really is very exciting: a three-month trial subscription to the Neue Zürcher Zeitung for the extraordinarily low price of just one Swiss franc. We didn’t advertise our offer with a sensationalistic headline because we want it to benefit only truly curious people. To receive the subscription, you need to register at nzz.ch/neugierig1. We aren’t worried about you being able to remember the address because scientific studies have shown that our brain can remember new information better if our curiosity has already been awakened. And yours appears to be wide awake.
Aha.
It would seem you’re not put off by the idea of reading a longer bit of text. These days, that’s seen as somewhat unusual. People say the demands we can place on an average reader’s attention span are declining. Reports on the issue often point to digital sensory overload as the cause. The concrete figures with regards to maximum attention span vary substantially and are sometimes quite creative. For instance, there is a long-standing rumour that it is just eight seconds, which is less than that of a goldfish. The goldfish achieves a whole nine seconds. In our opinion, that’s an unfair comparison: surely a goldfish is usually concentrating on something significantly less strenuous than reading. Since you have read on this far, you’re almost certain to score above the average, and for above-average readers we are making a special offer in this text, hidden, as it were. We haven’t mentioned it until now because we wanted to make sure it didn’t fall into the wrong hands. It’s for a trial subscription to the Neue Zürcher Zeitung for an especially attractive price: three months for a single Swiss franc. You can get it by signing up here: nzz.ch/nzz.ch/aha1. The “aha” is easy to remember, we think, because that’s how this text starts. We look forward to your registration.
Boredom
While waiting for a bus or train, it’s a common occurrence. Perhaps you’ve heard the widely held opinion that only dumb people experience boredom. We think that’s pretty dumb – not bored people, mind you, the diagnosis. After all, boredom is the result of not being sufficiently challenged, which in itself presupposes a certain mental ambition. Thus, boredom is really sort of beautiful: it makes us think and urges us into action. You, for instance, have decided to take a look at your surroundings and read our poster. A decision which has the potential to banish boredom from your life entirely for three months. How? Because we have a very special offer for mentally ambitious people like you: a three-month trial subscription to the Neue Zürcher Zeitung for just one Swiss franc. All you have to do is sign up at nzz.ch/langeweile1. The page is quite boring, but the articles that come to your mailbox or your smartphone are all the more exciting.
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